Discover How To Improve Self-esteem

Are you extremely shy in social situations? Do you get that sinking feeling in your stomach in stressful situations at work or with someone you are attracted to? Are losing your sanity with negative self-talk why you can t seem to do what you really want to do? Is your appetite nonexistent? Have sleepless nights beating yourself over disappointing results?

There are many reasons for the symptoms listed above but I am really talking about the damages caused by low self-esteem whether in your relationship, at work or in the real world.


You may feel you are not pretty, handsome, stupid, socially awkward, and my favorite not liked.

And there are many reasons why someone would have low self-esteem. Other than traumatic reasons, which are beyond the scope of this article and should definitely be handled by a trusted professional most fears are just that fears.

You could make the argument that I am being too simplistic and you know what? You would be right! All I am saying is Why does fears have to be so darn complicated? I would also say; Why not use the concept of Occam s Razor to deal with the problem -- once and for all?

For those who are not familiar with the principal of Occam s Razor: it simply means that all things being equal, the simplest solution tends to be the best one.

The simplest solution to solving your fears would be using the tools found by reading excellent books on this subject. Why not try to use bits and snatches good information

To start it off, realize that we weren t born with fear. It was conditioned in us by societal norms and influences as we grew up.

Again, we weren t born shy babies don t blush when they soil themselves.

However, I will admit one of the major reasons for lack of self-confidence would be from bullying. In fact, I was bullied in school. I did have a lack of self-confidence up to my early twenties. Even though all the aggressive cretins from school were no longer in my adult life I still carried the trauma of lack of self-esteem. Self-doubts, anger and you-name-it. Then one day, I decided I didn t want to be a victim anymore.

The clarity of that decision was so clear that I just knew what I had to do. I confronted all my fears by getting an education in martial arts, joined a Toastmaster Club to overcome the fear of talking in public and willed myself to talk to women.



Were any of these things easy? Heck no! But I did it and am proud of myself for doing it. Because as I see it, I could continue the same path and do nothing which would lead to massive unhappiness OR! I could actually take MASSIVE ACTION and banish my fears and become successful in anything I want to do.

Another great example how about that opera singer, Paul Potts? Unless you have been stuck in a cave somewhere, this 36 year-old guy had everything going against him. Medical problems, huge personal debts, and dashed dreams of being an opera star. And yet he tried ONE MORE TIME and won in the TV show Britain s Got Talent. He just blew everyone away including the unflappable Mr. Simon Cowell. I have talked with people who don t even like opera and they were just floored with Paul Potts voice. If you never heard him before, I strongly urge you to check out his video at youtube.

But Paul s underlying problem was lack of self-confidence. He admitted afterwards that he was bullied in school. He was filled with self-doubts and actually was depressed enough to consider suicide at one point.

And you know what he did next in his interview? He actually THANKED his former tormentors because they gave him the will power to keep on trying. I was just flabbergasted!

One of my favorite authors is a fellow by the name of Napoleon Hill. Although he died over thirty years ago, in his days Napoleon Hill was a giant in the field of personal success. And I am reminded of one of his quotes -- When you are free of fear, you are free to live.

When you are free of fear, you throw OFF the shackle that limits the opportunities that life has to offer. You start to live the life you always wanted!

I recommend that you go to your library or even to a favorite bookstore and get the book written by Robert Ringer by the name of Winning Through Intimidation. The title is misnamed. Robert really means that you will win when you DON T allow yourself to be intimidated. This is an excellent and easy to read book. Although this book covers Robert s early experience with the business people he dealt with as a real estate broker this book CAN be applied over the broad spectrum of society.

Another book I really recommend is The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. The purpose of this book is to realize that being relaxed and focused on the results can be a MUCH better way than what most of us are doing right now.

My suggestion is to keep an open mind and try other sources that provide solutions to your fears. There is no need to reinvent the wheel when better-qualified people have written books that are effective for building self-confidence. When you realize that fears can be banished your life will be open to new and unlimited possibilities that were never there before


In short, make building your self-esteem YOUR responsibility -- and the world -- is your oyster

By: John Garret

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John Garret is a recognized authority on the subject of dating tips and relationship advice. His web site at www.moderndatingsite.com provides a wealth of informative articles, dating book reviews and resources on everything you ll ever need to know about dating singles today